Husk

Let me start off by saying, yes mister screen writer, I did get the Cain and Able reference. A biblical twist on an otherwise mundane horror movie just makes it a slightly more pretentious horror movie. The plot is thin; kid’s car breaks down because there is something about the landscape that makes crows commit Sebuku via windscreens. One by one they disappear into the corn because psycho undead scarecrows with nails in their fingers are running around gutting people and recruiting them into the ‘Canvas Face Gang’. It would have been scary when one of the soon to die tragically tears off the mast to reveal his friends face, if we had not seen him in the undead state sowing the mask. At least this ghost gives you a trade in replacement for your life. Heaven knows I can’t sew, maybe if I could I would be able to get a proper job. That’s just the thing, at least three times this week I have felt fear and anxiety over very ordinary problems in my life that make the emotional rollercoaster of this ride feel like walk through a stream, instead of safely harrowing the torrents of true horrific escapism. As a horror it lacked my two favourite things, female nudity and a tangible catharsis. Even if you would try and get away from the Eros vs Thanotos dichotomy by throwing the movie into the luke warm basket of ‘Suspense Thriller’, let me rebut by presenting into evidence my unthrilled self. What I found most offensive is the completely weak and lazy exposition presented by one of the teens having flash backs of the ghosts life, or was the ghost the scarecrow, or his brother, or… normally these kinds of debates adds a bit of flavour to the tail, but not so in this case. The only reason I can see why a person would hire this movie is to scare your thirteen year old cousin so he keeps his eyes closed and you get to make out with your date on the couch uninterrupted. Or perhaps to subtlety convince a family member that a drive through farmlands is a bad idea and you would rather stay at home this weekend and get drunk, maybe laid.